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The Starkins
The Starkins are a four-piece indie pop/rock band based in South Yorkshire. They make capery rythmic sounds that get inside your eardrums and make you buy their CDs. Members The band currently consists of four members: Andy Daniels, vocalist Matt Elliss, lead guitar (and also vocals) Will Campbell, bassist (and definiteley not vocals) Joe Elliss drums, (and chief gatherer of YouTube comments). Unofficially, there exist further members. Alex Robinson and Joe Hetherington have been known to join the band on some occasions during performances, and Nathan Elliss has expressed on numerous occasions his sneaky desire to replace Daniels as vocalist (possible due to marketing reasons as the band could then be renamed "Campbell and the Elliss Three). Formation The band was formed in late 2010 when Campbell finally came out of hiding after an unrelated incident. Campbell felt an innate desire to play guitar again; after all, it had been years since his glory days in Riot Theory and Lost In Life. Campbell at first sought out his old friend Connor Cassidy, but Cassidy had other engagements at the time and as such could not join the band. Undeterred, Campbell turned to his other friend Matt Elliss. Elliss agreed wholeheartedly that it was time to start another band, if only to try and rid people's memories of Riot Theory. This was not enough however, as the band still required a vocalist and drummer. A large number of auditions were held (the most memorable of which was a rendition of Frank Sinatra's My Way by Westoby's Mother, with the lyrics altered so that instead of the song ending with "I did it my way" it ended with "My son does drama".) Neither Elliss nor Campbell could perform vocals themselves (When later pressed on the issue, Campbell would mutter "I...I don't sing.") Eventually, Campbell recalled his Y10 work experience, which he had spent in the company of two people: an unnaturally miserable girl and Andy Daniels. Daniels accepted Campbell's invitation to join the band, and in the meantime Elliss managed to recruit his younger brother to play the drums. Joe Elliss' inclusion into the band has had an unusual effect: the bands video has accrued a large number of comments praising his drumming skills or appearance. Unfortunately, detailed inspection has shown that the majority of these comments were made from the same IP adress, and this IP address seems to correspond to a computer in the shop across the road from Wath Comp. Songs The first (and so far only) Starkins EP consists of five songs. It usually costs £2, but if you pretend it doesn't work on your computer they will give you another one for free. The songs are as follows: Catch Her Eye This is a song about attracting the attention of other people's girlfriends and then having to deal with the repercussions of said attention when the girl's angry boyfriend appears (a problem which often plagued Campbell in real life, and was in fact the cause of a serious incident.) The lyrics describe the narrator's attempts to dissuade the girl "I know what you want girl/You don't want me" but to no avail. Interestingly, the band often change the title of this song to "Black Her Eye" when playing in rougher pubs and boozers. Play Along This song is about committing benefit fraud. The lyrics of the chorus, "We're always wanting more/We're always wanting better" are representative of the greedy nature of fraudulent benefit thieves. It is possible that the type of fraud is related to disability or injury, as "If I fall I could..." indicates that the narrator is musing how best to trip over in order to ensure the largest possible claim, while "And I will bite my tongue/And we will both just play along" shows that the narrator is perhaps pretending to be disabled in order to get some sort of state allowance. Orange Face This song is about walking around a golf course at some early hour in the morning and making judgemental comments about everyone else there. In the first verse, the narrator makes reference to an "orange face" implying copious make-up, but then states that he is "Not too sure what he will do". This shows that the person in question is some kind of transvestite, and (upon having their disguise seen through by the narrator) becomes angry and prepares to fight (assuming what is described as a "threatening stance"). In the second verse the song mentions a woman with a similar "orange face", implying that either there is some kind of cult on the golf course or that this transvestive is better disguised than the previous one and as such has fooled the narrator. Second Best This song is about the economic situation in Europe during the late 1960's and 1970's. It is written from the point of view of Britain and adresses the member states of the EEC (mainly France). The lyrics state "So I ask you to go for a drink but you say no" represents the times that Britain was denied entry into the EEC by France, and the line "I want to make you smile/But you stare back for a while" is a reference to Edward Heath's shit sense of humour. The song closes with "We're always second best/Lower than the rest" which describes the post-war economic growth of the period (Britain's economy expanded much slower than it's wartime enemies). Lights & Music This song is about going to the Café Sport and not being able to see or hear anything because of the lasers and loud music. The song states "I can't hear for the music/I can't see for the lights" which is a somewhat accurate description of the situation during the Starkins' gig at the Café Sport in late 2011 (although there were also a large number of angry boyfriends of the kind outlined in Catch Her Eye) The lyrics also state that "I walked over and asked 'would you like to dance'", which is a rather humorous interpretation of another incident at the Café Sport gig- Scott Westoby famously falling over the same speaker twice in the space of 5 minutes. In The Garden In The Garden is the sixth original song by the Starkins, but it does not appear on the EP. The song details the joys of having sex owning a garden and all the things than can be done to pass the time in a garden, such as planting flowers or having sex barbecues. The lyrics claim that intercourse conversation between two people is more pleasant in the garden due to the increased amount of sexual excitement fresh air and condoms ambience. The narrator also goes on to list the number of girls with whom he has had sex maintained pleasant conversation with in the missionary position garden. The second verse of the song describes how the narrator's penis garden is kept in good condition, and how women are always climbing on top of him as if his dick were made of money many times he has had sex friends round to fuck entertain them in his garden.